I was surfing the internet on "how to make an effective sales page" and stumbled across this little gem, Writing effective sales copy to increase your sales - this is seriously the funniest site I have ever seen in my life. It makes fun and point out all the great things about sales pages. (No, this isn't my site unfortunately.)

Some of my favorite parts:

"a requirement that there's no work on your part (or very little)"

The only effort required of you is Clicking That Paypal Button. Even an idiot can do that, right?

In case you don't understand "100% guaranteed", I've included an image to illustrate. It looks like a seal of some sort so builds credibility. Establishing credibility is important before picking someone's pocket.

But you insist you're not convinced?

  • Time to get the kitsch out. Lurid yellow highlight works. You can taste last night's dinner again? Never mind. Concentrate on the Great Opportunity and on the bold text
  • You'll soon see images of cheques showing $9,231.46 earned in 8 days and they'll be like works of (Photoshop) art! Yes, $9,231.46 in 8 days
  • Impressive? You want in on the secret? No problem. You, too, can make $9321.46 in 8 days.
  • In fact YOU sounds better that "you". So, YOU too, can make $9321.46 in 8 days.

The amount is specific because specific is believable. Truth is even more believable e.g. the quickest way to get to $9231.46 is to start with $20,000 and lose $10,768.54 in advertising. You KNOW that that's true.

  • The letter will give YOU bonuses to act now. It's a limited time deal - the author doesn't want to keep selling the e-book and making money forever!
  • Act now, because everybody wants a copy (of course!) - and he hasn't printed enough e-books.
  • Because there's so much of demand and not enough stock he's giving away five free bonuses just to persuade YOU to act now.
  • Hey, it's all about YOU, YOU, YOU. They'll even let YOU in on this secret way of making $9231.46 in 8 days. But YOU have to act now.

I also recommend reading "THE TESTIMONIALS":

Each testimonial has to be signed ...because Vincent Van Gogh didn't print his name on his products, did he? No! He took the trouble to sign them. And, if you see a painting signed "Vincent" it would be rude and superfluous to ask for proof of ID. It is similarly reassuring to readers - and an irrefutable proof of legitimacy - to have a signature below each testimonial.

Notice how everybody who writes a testimonial sends a passport photo for the author's convenience? And at least one testimonial is from an attractive woman? Beautiful women do that a lot - they have a disproportionate tendency to write testimonials for authors of Get Rich Quick books. They also have a strange compulsion to attach their photo to every email. Don't pause to ponder the reasons. Move on, move on, there's a product you have to get to. And a Paypal button.

A Long Sales Letter will often have an image of the book being sold (or offered as a bonus). Yes, the author photographed it when it was still hot off the printers. You didn't think it was Photoshopped, did you? Testimonicals to you, mate, if you did.
In this case, you know the above is a real photo because you can see the shadow from my camera flash! That's proof it's genuine.

Still not convinced?

Wow! Is there no limit to how smart you can get?

You spotted the flaw! If I really wanted genuine I'd have photographed my book standing on a glass table and with a bit of a reflection. Yes, the reflection is compulsory because it shows you, the reader, are getting double the value! All good authors follow this photography convention.

In fact, the real secret to getting rich is stealing this glass table. Think about it:

no table => no photos => no promotional Long Sales Letters => no sales => no profits!

It's like you've castrated them all in one fell swoop... and the e-book writers will band together to pay a king's ransom to get the table back. But, I digress....It's time for bonuses.