Build your press release around a frivolous idea. Make sure that the information in your press release is obscure, trifling, and vague. The “individuals” in your audience will lap it up. That is how cult followings are spawned.

Use as cerebral a title as possible – the longer, the better. A lengthy title impresses the magnitude of your press release on your audience, and captures their attention right from the onset.

Introduce suspense. Start your press release with a teaser or three. Leave the important facts out until the tail end. Let the anticipation build up as slowly as possible, and reveal what you really want to say for last. Make your audience work for it, and they will appreciate the climax much more.

Stating the unadorned truth can be uninteresting. Embellish. Personalize and add your own opinions to your commentary. Pure facts may not hold your audience’s interest. Augment what you have to say - use a little bit of imagination.

Use as many polysyllabic words as humanly possible. Do not think of it as “fluff.” Think of it as regaling your audience with your expansive vocabulary. A press release would be the perfect opportunity to do that. Intersperse your elocution with terminologies as egregiously obfuscating as the words in this sentence. If they are as intelligent as you are, they will understand the material. If they do not, then look for like-minded people elsewhere. They do not deserve your keen literary stylings.

Disregard the demographic. It is not your duty to convince your audience that your material is pertinent to them. Let them listen, and figure out the relevance for themselves.

Issue your press release even if you have nothing to worthwhile to say. It will keep your audience intrigued and interested until you finally garner anything newsworthy. Do not wait to gather useful information, as your audience may look elsewhere. Mystery is key.

Focus on the remarkable. Sometimes, it is better to talk about who the newsmakers are, rather than what the news is. To draw attention to your press release, concentrate on “whom” as this may be more involving than “what” or “why.”

Write, write, and write some more. A longer press release gives the notion that you have very much to say, and that all of it is integral to your audience. Off-tangents, non-sequiturs, and corollaries show your audience that you are not constricted, and that you are able to think “out of the box.” Your audience will appreciate it.