Nice voice-over but personally, I would add more images (screenshots of your site for example) to support the text script (i lost attention after 15 second (sorry))
It don't pop IMO.
It is a flat ad almost like a classified ad also to wordy.
as Loko already said as a video use images to help sell you product. Just needs to be jazzed up :)
Who did the voice work? Did you?
yah same like loko .... was expecting something on the video but nothing so lost attention after few second ...